Being in the ultimate relationship rather than any relationship is the goal for most of our elite clients, and is certainly our aim as matchmakers here at Seventy Thirty. However, that’s why we can often find ourselves single and holding out for the right person when Christmas comes around. For some of us, this can be a tricky time of year when it seems like everyone else is paired off and with a range of Christmas festivities to look forward to. However, with planning and the right attitude, Christmas can be a time of anticipation and excitement whether we’re attached or still dating. Here’s how:
Plan and prepare
The best approach to Christmas and New Year’s is a pro-active one. Without prior-planning, we can default to staying home and channel-surfing, a pass-time which quickly loses it’s charm. Planning early enables us to build a schedule with plenty to look forward to. The key point is that, paradoxically, those who are the most happy and fulfilled with a life they love when they are single are those that have most to bring to a relationship and subsequently build a rewarding partnership. Therefore creating great times for yourself, whatever your status and whatever the time of year, is vital for your own success and well-being.
How often do you regret accepting an invitation? Probably rarely if ever. Usually there are always experiences, introductions and conversations which make us feel glad we made the effort to engage in the social scene. As Oscar Wilde once said, “Nothing annoys people so much as not receiving invitations”, therefore take every opportunity of enjoying new places and social encounters which could prove to enrich your life.
It’s not what happens, it’s how we respond to it
People can often fall victim to thinking negatively about the Christmas period if their circumstances do not match their ideal. Try and avoid the thinking trap of ‘compare and despair’ where we feel that our situation does not measure up to those of others, and avoiding ‘over-generalisation’ with thoughts such as ‘it looks like I’ll be single every Christmas’. These styles of thinking are distorted rather than reality-based, so challenge these thoughts if they arise and focus on what you can do to make this a special time.
Do something completely different
If you are free from obligations over the Christmas period, it can be a great opportunity to travel, volunteer or do something completely different than in previous years. This can be especially helpful if the festive period is associated with painful memories which will be reignited by being in the same setting. In day to day life, our brains get accustomed to similar experiences and routines, therefore a complete change or a new adventure serves to ‘re-boot’ the system. Doing something novel not only engages all the senses but can also restore and inspire, which is an excellent way to begin a new year.
A time for reflection.
Following on from the last point, this is a great time of year to reflect on what to take from the previous year and what hopes, aspirations and goals we have for the year ahead. Throughout the year, we often long for time to reflect on our lives and have time to ponder, but pressing engagements, business, and family all place great demands on our time. Therefore, this is a good time to contemplate and plan in readiness for the psychological boost that comes with beginning a new year. On New Years Eve, remember the words of Brad Paisley, “Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one”.