It is that time of the year that we all take a moment to sit down and reflect on the past year and reassess it. We recall the good and the bad, achievements we are proud of, but also some decisions we would rather forget, people that we’ve met and people that we’ve lost, new places we’ve visited etc. The question then becomes: how do we make things better in the New Year? How do we live a better, happier and more fulfilled love in the upcoming year?
One of the commonly observed issues many people strive to improve is their love life. We here at Seventy Thirty believe there is someone for everyone and in this blog, we would like to share our insight which can hopefully help those who are looking for a partner. If you have been through a year of loneliness, turmoil or simply did no have the time to focus on the romantic aspect of our life – you might want the New Year to be different.
How then do we do this?
“Most people treat resolutions like a lottery ticket—more of a fun wish than a serious commitment,” Keith McArthur, author of Winning Resolutions, tells HelloGiggles. “If you want to make your relationship goals come true in 2019, you need to treat them like a promise to yourself.”
McArthur also adds that it is crucial to be specific when making the resolutions: “Winning resolutions need to be precise,” he says. Thus, although saying “I want to find love next year” is a good start, it’s even more important think of something more specific that you can commit to.”
Here are a few specific steps:
1. Make yourself a priority
Simply treat yourself the way you would treat your significant other. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to? Allow yourself to do things that make you happy and get to know yourself. You will hardly be able to devote yourself to a healthy, loving relationship if you do not take care of your own mental, physical and emotional needs. “It's kind of like a flight attendant's emergency instructions. You need to put on an oxygen mask on yourself first before you tend to everyone else.”
2. You can’t open a new door until the old door is shut
It is time to put out old flames. Think about your life at the moment – perhaps you are still holding onto someone for no reason. You might be feeling it is difficult to end such relationships but if they do not fulfill you, they can only be getting in the way.
3. Define what it is that you are looking for
What qualities are you looking for in a potential partner? What are your needs in relationships? We always ask our clients to tell us in as much depth as possible about what they desire in a potential partner. Even more importantly, think about the values that guide you through your life and that truly matter to you. We at Seventy Thirty know that aligned values are absolutely the best predictor of a long-term relationship success! Therefore, get that notebook out and allow yourself to write about your experiences, your needs, your strengths and weakness and everything you consider might be of relevance when looking for that perfect partner.
4. Be open-minded
It might be tempting to over think the points from the section above and end up with an idea of a “perfect person” and reject everyone who do not meet that criteria fully. Whilst someone might be perfect on paper, you might lack the chemistry with them which is a crucial component. In the same way, a person might not be a hundred percent match, but they might make us feel like no one else and very often that is what we want to settle for. “Make sure to be more open-minded when going on dates or starting new relationships,” says Maria Sullivan, dating expert “Being open-minded will allow you to see the person for who they really are and you will be able to detect whether you have a real connection.”
5. Live in the present
It is very easy to start dreaming about the future once you meet someone you like. However, when we get too future-focused, we not only form unrealistic expectations but also miss all the fun and excitement that occur in the present moment. Being in a loving relationship is ultimately one of the most fulfilling things life has to offer and as such is a process that takes time. Learn to enjoy the journey, not only the destination. Focus on loving yourself, resolving issues from the past, be open to new experiences and enjoy whatever life gives you!
Happy New Year from Seventy Thirty!