Lesson 2 in Confidence: Don’t Fake it, Learn it.

“The news that reaches your consciousness is incomplete and often not to be relied on. Turn your eyes inward, look into your own depths, and learn first to know yourself” - Sigmund Freud

 "Everything is great”, “I am fantastic”. Don’t fake your confidence. Learn it. The ‘fake-it-‘til-you-make-it’ approach might have worked for some, but a better way to have a healthy level of genuine and authentic confidence is to learn it. Learn how to tap into the confidence you were born with.

It is said that we were born confident. However, growing up, going through stages of development, gaining self-awareness with exposure to life’s experiences has chiselled away at our confidence resulting in new feelings of insecurity and doubt. But, we can regain our confidence; we had it once, we can have it again.

 Accept failure.

Failure makes you stronger. You learn and your chance of succeeding increases.

“A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying”. - B. F. Skinner

 Practice confidence.

We love that old saying, ‘practice makes perfect’. Meet new people, take yourself out of your comfort zone. It’ll be hard at first, but it’ll get better.

Practicing confidence is different to faking it. Faking confidence is pretence; practicing confidence is tapping it your qualities to achieve the confidence you deserve.

 Learn to receive praise.

Taking a compliment in an art form. Learn to accept positive recognition and reinforcement. Sometimes we automatically reject a compliment rather than simply saying “thank you”.

Embrace the unknown.

Embrace change, embrace the scary/unpredictable things.

Getting to know yourself, who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, are all small cognitive changes which can build your self-confidence. Be proud of who you are. Love yourself and let others have the chance to love you too.

Don’t let your confidence be detrimental to your relationship. Take control. Take action!

“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.” — Lao Tzu