Founded at the beginning of 2000 by Susie Ambrose, the first exclusive luxury matchmaking & introduction agency built on a relationship psychology model.
As a matchmaking agency, Seventy Thirty strives for success in all that we do for our members. And, when it comes to our gay and lesbian matchmaking services, we are no different. We are proud to have introduced countless happy same-sex partnerships. We hear the most uplifting stories, and, these success stories have only got more elaborate now that same-sex marriage is legally recognised in many countries.
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Our gay men lead wonderful, full lives; they either would not put themselves on an internet dating site, or, are tired of online dating. They don’t hang out in gay bars frequently and would prefer to meet someone who was not always ‘on the scene’.
Our Lesbians are incredible women, who celebrate femininity and power. Like everyone else, they are seeking an equal partnership, but where does a woman go to meet a compatible partner?
With our service, we have the means and the experience to improve your chances of finding the person that you deserve. That’s why for the past 12 years we have helped to transform our Gay & Lesbian member’s lives.
We offer a fully integrated matchmaking service led by a team of psychologists who understand Gay & Lesbian relationships.
It’s about time, with Seventy Thirty.
Why is it hard for gay men to find love?
Some single gay men feel that a well-angled selfie of a fit torso is given greater weighting by other gay men than their values, goals and personality (not to mention their face). Single gay men often come to Seventy Thirty feeling that online dating is far too sexualised and focused on hooking up, so they doubt that any like-minded compatible men are out there who want a long-term relationship.
Apps have allowed a convenient, fast and inexpensive way of connecting with other gay folk in close proximity. They also allow anonymity, exploration of sexuality and a way to browse our neighbours from the comfort of our own sofa. However, such apps are also criticised for being just about sex, and being too focused on the ‘visual’ (one photo and a very brief description), giving rise to body image problems.
The majority of gay men who come to Seventy Thirty are looking to settle down into a long-term relationship, with the potential of marriage, children, homes, pets and growing old with their love.
Connecting with people via social media certainly has its benefits and can even reduce depression and loneliness, in the same way as socialising in the flesh. However, having apps on our phones is changing social patterns of communication and courtship and having a negative effect on our social skills. So maybe it’s time to lift our heads from our phones, breathe in the air and view the real world for a change.
Why is it difficult for gay men to find love?
Growing up in a heterosexual society with a lack of gay role models can lead to difficulties in modelling a healthy relationship. Having a troubled past linked to being gay can give rise to mental health problems. There is also literature on internalised homophobia and how it affects partner selection. On a practical level, there are fewer gay people out there; one might only feel safe approaching another guy if they are in a gay environment to avoid the awkward situation of approaching a straight guy.
We still have a long way to go, but attitudes have changed rapidly. We can all find a partner if we want to, but often we make excuses to protect our egos and the self-fulfilling prophecy keeps us single. If you really want a partner and you can’t find one, try harder!
What do gay men want?
The same thing everyone else wants.
Confidence: gay men are more attracted to other gay men who they find confident, can feel comfortable with and able to communicate with in a strong and purposeful manner that mirrors their own level of confidence. Self-confidence can be elevated and projected in many ways on a physical level, through paying particular attention to grooming, clothing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Power of proximity: gay men who are comfortable in their own skin and with their own sexuality are attractive. Focusing on your positive features, making eye contact, speaking clearly and listening attentively projects confidence and demonstrates a desire to understand and get to know another individual.
Sense of adventure and freedom: gay men are attracted to people who demonstrate a desire to fulfil their sense of adventure and also have the ability to be courageous when exploring their sexuality.
Attraction: gay men tend to be attracted by people who find them – or seem likely to find them – attractive: ‘The faces we like best are the faces that are looking our way. The eyes that we are mesmerised by are the eyes that are looking into ours.’ Gay men do not desire those who seek instant gratification or whose sexual urges are rebellious or unrealistic, but rather those who are able to demonstrate emotional intimacy, stability and a mutual attraction.
Openness and honesty: gay men tend to place intense emphasis on these traits, as well as a strong sense of pride and self-worth when it comes to their own life perspective and expression of this. The ability to open up to another gay man and create the ideal environment for him to express himself defines integrity of character and is highly valued, respected and appreciated by gay men who are searching for a life partner.
So what should gay men do to find love?
Spending too much time checking phones and apps inhibits social interaction. Anxious people are more likely to have their heads down, looking at their phones, when on their own in a bar; confident people are more comfortable standing on their own. Keep your head up, notice your surroundings and acknowledge the people around you.
Fear of rejection is always the major inhibiting factor in finding love. Many people spot potential suitors, hoping that they will be the one to initiate contact. Approaching someone and showing interest in them is often flattering to the other person, and it’s unlikely that they will be cruel to you if they are not interested. Stop letting opportunities pass you by. When you go out, make sure that you strike up a conversation with at least one person; start with someone who you are not that attracted to, and work your way up to the guy who currently causes your IQ to drop by its square root.
Get out there – take some time to focus on yourself. Think of the things you want to do, such as learn a new language, take up a new sport, etc. Focusing on your interests means you’ll end up socialising with like-minded people who could potentially be a love interest or could introduce you to a love interest. Taking up a hobby, such as joining a gay sports club, is a great way of meeting other gay people.
Be appealing – if you don’t think you are attractive, you’re probably not. Think about what you need to do to feel more attractive. When you feelmore attractive, you will bemore attractive.
Don’t spend too much time online. The more profiles you flick through, the less likely you are to find a date. Flicking through lots and lots of profiles that don’t match will make you feel despondent about your chances of finding love, plus if you are always seen online, you will get a bad reputation (if you log on to a dating application or an online dating site and see the same profile online all the time, you would view that person negatively. You might assume that they are promiscuous, desperate, do not have a social life or no one wants to date them).
I could list a hundred pieces of self-help advice that you already know about how to find love, but instead I recommend that you stop creating obstacles to finding love, and become proactive. It’s empowering to take your life into your own hands. Who cares if you are rejected once or twice along the way to success?
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