How to Get Modern Day Courting Right

As a traditional matchmaking agency, when we introduce individuals we tend to ask the gentleman to make the first point of contact. Like in any instance of dating, the gentleman tends to be the active party who courts i.e. - woos the lady over a period of time until both parties feel ready to commit to one another. However, getting to this point may not be as easy as it sounds, so here is our guide to courting in the modern day.

We know that making the first move with someone you’ve never met can be quite unnerving – whether it be contacting them or be it meeting them for the first time. Our first recommendation is to message your soon to be acquaintance with who you are and asking for a convenient time to call. We suggest this so as to not have your first communication declined or hear the “please leave a message after the tone”. This can also avoid the awkward, “hello, who is this?” start to any phone call. 

Secondly, don’t be worried about being the first to bite the bullet. Even though it may seem ‘uncool’ to be ‘keen’, it isn’t. After all you are both looking for the same thing, so why should you not wish to be the first to make contact? When making the first phone call it is importantnot to overthink what you may say or predict how they may respond to questions. Anticipating or predicting can come across as being too forced and not present your true authentic self. Our other suggestion is to treat the first phone call as you would a first date. Much like your first date, there isn’t a script in front of you to guide your words, therefore nor should there be during your first phone call.

Speaking of first dates, if you’ve made it this far, it is clear the phone call went well. It is time to plan where to go and where to meet for your very first time - our suggestion is somewhere mutual. Mutual in time spent travelling and somewhere you both feel comfortable and at ease. We suggest mutually exclusive environments as this will set the tone for common ground and give the impression of being on an equal playing field for the both of you (tip – this is always a good way to start any kind of relationship). For many of us, finding the right conversation starters and topics to discuss can be a struggling point, but on a first date go with the flow and ask questions in which you feel are valuable in getting to know your date. Questions of this type will also act as your guide, as these can be passed back to you, even more so you will be comfortable answering them. They also show you are intrigued and want to know more about your date, without being overly inquiring.

Over the next few dates and coming weeks you will begin to learn more about one another by asking the right questions and delving into the deeper understandings of your date. You may even find a hint of the ‘old school’ courting will start to tiptoe in, and it may move from being a little less smart phone related to more face-to-face contact. Although dating is considered the more socially acceptable term now, courting is a conscious effort and the understanding that your date is not a simple swipe right, or a ‘yes, I like the look of you’ thought. Thus, with courting you can access a profounder level of authenticity in the start of your relationship than you would dating, enabling you to find a true relationship.