Bright lights, big city, eligible bachelor

The allure of the city, the promise of wishes fulfilled, expectations met, dreams realised, adventures lived. Lights twinkling and shimmering, the cacophony of noise and the perpetual buzz of movement and energy. Numerous lives in simultaneous transit and convergence, one mass melting pot of simmering potential, just waiting to bubble over. Underneath the shimmering façade of the cityscape, in the dense and oppressive urban jungle roves the young single male, a twenty-first century Tarzan of sorts, noble in spirit, compelling in character and ruthless in ambition. But what of his Jane? What heights are to be reached and what pitfalls to be avoided in search of a partner? Despite its bedazzling palette of possibilities, manoeuvring the modern metropolis is no mean feat.

The city can be unforgiving, punishing at times. The constant call of our many commitments, numerous products, sites and services vying for our attention. There is considerable pressure to keep our appointments, pay our bills, keep up with the city and progress as people. The city is extensive too, sprawling masses of networks and connections that seldom flow smoothly. Sometimes just getting from A to B can seem like a journey of epic proportions. The dating game has evolved such that it times if feels like we’re swiping the entire population in search of a match. For this reason it is crucial to prioritise and utilise our most precious asset – time. Make the time for finding someone special, and don’t compromise on it. Make use of moments and minutes, whenever you have them so that you are able to allocate more time to those matters that lie closer to your heart.

After all, the super city offers a bewildering array of events and exhibitions, cultural and creative pursuits, activities and excursions, and culinary and social settings to satisfy the tastes of even the most whimsical or esoteric pleasure seeker. Add to this the plethora of publications and social media streams keeping us constantly informed and updated and it would seem more difficult not to find something that appeals. City centres are places of amazing diversity and magnetically draw in people from highly disparate backgrounds, giving practically unlimited variety in terms of a potential partner. We are also completely at liberty to choose what to do, where to go and who to see and align our day-to-day lives in accordance with our wants and wishes, beliefs and values. Suffice to say that this almost unlimited choice is there to be taken advantage of and the freedom we enjoy should be honoured and celebrated.

So as we traverse the cosmopolitan mise en scène in our quest for the love of our lives, we would do well to bear in mind the primacy of location. Review sites and location-based apps can help us find the perfect setting for a first meet, while social media keeps us informed as to upcoming events that could be the point of our sweetest and most cherished memories. Spend time online, either reviewing the blogs and vlogs of those who know and have been there before or fostering new relationships and connections on instant messaging or video chat apps. Root out those places that are genuinely interesting and that you hear people talking about, find out for yourself what they are like and make a point of visiting new places and expanding your knowledge of different areas of the city and what they have to offer. Make a second home of those places that are in line with your interests and hobbies and discover the like-minded individuals who do the same. If pushed for time, arrange meetings near transport hubs which offer a mélange of differing social options a stone’s throw away and a quick journey home to boot. Whatever you do, remember that the city is continually reshaping, transforming and evolving and will always be capable of fulfilling our deepest desires and most treasured dreams.

“You take delight not in a city's seven or seventy wonders, but in the answer it gives to a question of yours.”   Italo Calvino, Invisible Cities