There is so much written about what we need to do, be or feel in order to attract the right relationship and be the perfect partner. What we often fail to realise is that if the match is right, all those strategies and games won’t be necessary. Relationships mirror our inner world, which is why when a significant shift occurs in ourselves we often find ourselves with different people in our lives. Therefore, being ready for a romantic relationship is all about developing the relationship and knowledge we have with ourselves in the first instance. Are you ready for a new relationship?
Are you in an emotionally healthy place?
If you seek a relationship when you are unhappy or stressed you will attract the wrong person for you. Like attracts like so if you want a relationship with a sound and healthy partner you need to cultivate this in yourself. Similarly, if you have scars from previous relationships (such as trust issues for example), be sure you have learned and moved on from these so you don’t carry these issues into your next relationship. Nobody wants to pay for someone else’s mistakes.
Do you treat yourself like a lover?
There is a strong correlation between how we treat ourselves and how others treat us. If you want to be loved, spoiled and cherished then this is the way to treat yourself. The people in your life will follow suit. Also remember when it comes to others, nobody can treat you in any way that you don’t allow yourself to be treated.
Do you know your boundaries?
Past relationships teach us so much about ourselves, our needs and what’s acceptable for us in relationships. Most people’s top requirements in new partners are based directly on what was significantly wrong in previous relationships. Therefore, take the time to consider what you have learned and what you will and will not accept in relationships, and always have the self-respect to hold yourself to these boundaries.
Do you put yourself in new situations?
People develop due to experiences. The more experiences you have, whether though dating or socialising, the more feedback you will get on yourself and the more you will grow. People have a tendency to hibernate between relationships, which deprives them of the opportunity to learn about themselves and develop through interaction with others. Therefore, take every opportunity of trying new things and meeting new people.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line” Lucille Ball
Only when we get the relationship with ourselves right do we attract the perfect partner.